Preface

This book is written for parents and players who are eager to help their children quit playing games (or control the length of time they play games) and become addicted to the Internet.

Since 2018, I have begun to notice that many children have neglected their studies because of playing online games, which in turn affects the happiness of the entire family. I myself am one of the biggest victims of playing games, and very few people have suffered as deeply as I have. Countless families are looking for ways to reduce the harm of excessive gaming, but in 2025, all books on the market are written by psychology experts, and no book is written by players who have successfully quit gaming.

At the same time, these books are not specifically for quitting gaming. These books guide parents on how to communicate effectively with their children, but do not provide a plan to guide players to quit gaming. It seems that once parents communicate, the problem of children's Internet addiction will be solved. After reading these books, I found that none of them could help me when I was addicted to games - whether it was controlling the time spent playing games or quitting games, these books were not very effective.

Only those who have experienced game addiction and successfully quit can write the best way to quit video games, because they can fully understand the psychology of players and design a withdrawal (or control the game time) plan from the perspective of players to make it truly effective!

This book provides a simple and easy solution to quit games - Zhang Jian's "Smart Reading" Game Quitting Method. As long as parents and children operate it, it is not difficult for players to quit games or play only a small number of games in the end!

The "Smart Reading" method can also be used for interventions in other Internet addictions, such as short videos, online novels, chasing dramas, anime, etc. You only need to replace "games" in the following text with the items you want to control.

Scientific Game Quitting Method

I am Zhang Jian, a former "senior" game player who was addicted to games for six years. After thousands of "swearing" attempts to control the time spent playing games and failing, I finally quit games completely after a rational review.

I don’t want to write a long article and wait for readers to finish reading tens of thousands of words before explaining how I did it. But I also don’t want readers to ignore it because they know the answer too easily. In fact, I went through a lot of hardships to quit games. It can be said that I almost lost my life!

Why is it so difficult to quit games? The reason is players love playing games!

If you want to quit, players have to fight against the dual pressure of physical and psychological pressure. Therefore, it is almost impossible to force players to leave the game for a long time. It must rely on the players’ self-awakening, sow the seeds in their hearts that playing games will harm themselves, and finally turn their love for games into hatred, and gradually fall in love with a healthy real life.

The scientific and easy way to quit games is:

• (“害”) Realize the harm of games.
• (“伊” means “意”) It is easy to fail to fight games with “willpower”, but you still need to strengthen “willpower”.
• (“只” means “智”) Rely on “think tanks” to implement “heteronomy”.
• (“戒”) It is best to quit video games completely right now.
• (“一”) If you can’t make up your mind to quit, just play a little bit of games – quit for a month first, then play less than four hours a week.
• (“季” is the same as “计”) If playing just a few games is not possible, play games “according to the plan”.
• (“度” is the same as “读”) Cultivate your body and mind by “reading more, making more money, and dating”, and eventually change your love for games to fear and quit games (or play only a few games).

The above seven lines represent seven actions, each of which is represented by a shorthand word, and together they are “害伊只戒一季”. The following will introduce these seven actions in detail.

I. Understand the harm of games

Players must have enough knowledge of the harm of games. If they can't do this, they can't quit playing games! Playing games is harmful to players in all aspects, including "physical, mental, family, social, academic, and career". Zhang Jian made up his mind to quit playing games after evaluating the pros and cons of playing games, and found that the disadvantages of playing games far outweighed the benefits of playing games. If you don't quit, you're a fool! There is a chapter below called "Analysis of the pros and cons of playing games". Players are requested to fill it out and evaluate it when reading this chapter.

When players have enough knowledge of the harm of games, they will have enough fear and hatred for games. These two emotions will affect their actions, and people will spontaneously stay away from games, which is equivalent to strengthening "self-discipline". Therefore, players should work hard on their thoughts and try their best to dig out the harm of games.

When you think of games, you habitually turn to thinking about the harm of games, or directly move your thoughts away from games. This is the method of working hard on "self-discipline", which is called "the method of realizing the harm of games".

Before knowing the correct way to study, the player just suppresses the desire to play games. In essence, he still does not see through the game and still thinks that the game is a good thing.

After knowing the correct way to study, the player develops a fear of games from the mind, and gradually no longer thinks that games are a good thing. He does not need to suppress his heart, and naturally, the game is thrown into the trash. In the end, it is effortless to quit the game.

Think about it, If the player really regards electronic games as a scourge, will he still play?

Wang Yangming said: "He who wins easily is a great sage." This is the truth.

II. Resisting Games with "Willpower" is Prone to Failure, but "Willpower" Still Needs Strengthening

Once the harms of gaming are recognized, a choice arises: control gaming or continue playing recklessly. Most people choose to control their gaming time, but in practice, they often fail, frequently "accidentally" playing overtime again.

What are the reasons?

• First, video games are diverse, stimulating the brain in various ways to produce dopamine and induce pleasure. Moreover, games are easily accessible and highly social, leading to addiction. From a neuroscience perspective, excessive dopamine causes a "reduction in the number of dopamine receptors" in the brain, making players feel uncomfortable when they stop playing.
• Second, after long-term gaming, a "high-speed circuit" for gaming has formed in the player's brain. Living a real life means taking another neural pathway, which has become narrow, desolate, and difficult to traverse. Therefore, players very naturally revert to the "high-speed circuit" of gaming; this is "habit becomes second nature."
• Third, players addicted to games often lack life experience and extracurricular knowledge, and have not developed the ability to "think deeply" and "solve problems." This leads to them being "manipulated" by games in their struggle against them, even though they desperately want to control games rather than be controlled by them.

Simply using willpower to control oneself to play less often results in a very high probability of failure. This is "self-discipline," where the player is forcefully suppressing the desire to play. This method is adopted by most players; Zhang Jian used this method for over six years without success.

Because this method is "anti-human nature," the player essentially still believes games are good, hence the effort to suppress the desire to play, still not seeing through the nature of games. It must be combined with the "humane" method of "experiencing the harm of games" to achieve "comprehensive self-discipline."

On this path, most players repeatedly try to fight against games, yet repeatedly play overtime. Players even begin to doubt their self-discipline. Relying on "willpower" to resist temptations of ordinary intensity, such as watching TV, reading novels, or drinking milk tea, is feasible; but against addictions like smoking, alcohol, and gaming, it is completely insufficient.

The eventual failure of this method does not mean the player lacks "willpower." I always considered myself a person with strong willpower, but I still succumbed to the temptation of games. Later, I realized I was not alone; most players failed like me; most smokers who tried to quit by willpower also failed.

Why is it that even if our willpower is not weak, we still cannot resist the temptation of games and lose control?

Later, I figured it out. Gaming is an industry, with tens of millions of people worldwide engaged in game-related occupations, such as: employees of game development companies, employees of game operating companies, staff in internet cafes and arcades, organizers of esports events, personnel in esports teams, game streamers, esports training, esports media, companies producing and selling gaming equipment (such as game consoles, computers, mobile phones, graphics cards, keyboards, VR, etc.), game sponsors, game information providers, manufacturers and sellers of game IP derivative products (toys, clothing, cards, etc.), and so on.

They want me to spend money or "attention" (if enough people pay attention, paying users will appear) on games. If I am addicted to games, they earn the most.

We are fighting against a huge industry, and everyone in this industry is trying to get us addicted to games; while we are just inexperienced teenagers, and there is no universally recognized, effective method to control gaming time. Facing tens of millions of professionals in the gaming industry, it is perfectly normal for us to fail when resisting the temptation of games.

Relying solely on willpower to control gaming time is prone to failure, but this does not mean one can have weak willpower or use less willpower. One must have "sufficient" willpower to potentially resist the temptation of games. Think about it, if you don't even fight against the desire to play, won't you be easily led away by games? Self-discipline is a very precious human quality; without self-discipline, nothing can be achieved.

Relying solely on willpower to control gaming time is "partial self-discipline"; combined with "experiencing the harm of games," it becomes "comprehensive self-discipline." Relying solely on "comprehensive self-discipline" can lead to quitting games, but the vast majority of people cannot yet use it proficiently.

Therefore, "comprehensive self-discipline" must also be combined with "external discipline" and "planning" to ensure success. "Self-discipline, external discipline, and planning" form a stable triangle for controlling gaming time; this is the professional approach to combating game temptation.

III. Relying on a "Mastermind Group" to Implement "External Discipline"

Previously, we discussed that it is difficult for players to succeed in controlling their gaming time solely through willpower. Besides this, are there any other good methods? The answer is: external discipline.

Why is it necessary to implement "external discipline"? Because the player's current self-discipline ability is not strong enough, and the results achieved through self-discipline are unsatisfactory. If "external discipline" is not implemented, the player will inevitably play games excessively, causing harm to the family. This is like a bleeding person needing to stop the bleeding; the top priority is to control the loss within an acceptable range.

"External discipline" is by no means simply or crudely preventing children from playing games, or criticizing and blaming them; those are the behaviors of old-fashioned parents who have not learned advanced educational concepts. "External discipline" involves sincere dialogue with the child, inspiring them to think about the consequences of playing games, and making the child realize that the parents' approach is most beneficial to their growth, helping them, not opposing them.

Human discipline = self-discipline + external discipline. "External discipline," compared to "self-discipline," seems somewhat passive and negative, which has led to "external discipline" being greatly overlooked. And overlooking "external discipline" is one of the reasons why many game-quitting "experts" have failed to provide players with a complete solution.

Self-discipline is easily thought of, self-discipline is important, but self-discipline based solely on "willpower" is prone to failure, it's not "true self-discipline." Only "experiencing the harm of games" is "true self-discipline."

When a player's "self-discipline" ability is not strong enough, that's when "external discipline" shines. Actively using "external discipline" to secure sufficient non-gaming time, using it to read extracurricular books, cultivate one's mind and body, enhance "self-discipline," and enter a positive cycle, is the secret to success.

External discipline silently plays a role in the process of controlling gaming time. For example, many players play less in high school because of the pressure of college entrance exams and strict school management, which is a form of external discipline; many players play much less after starting work, as the workplace plays a role of external discipline; and many players play less after falling in love, as their partner plays the role of external discipline.

So when we talk about external discipline, there must be the participation of others. These participants, along with the player themselves, are called a "mastermind group." Participants can be unintentional (they don't deliberately want to help the player control gaming time), as in the cases mentioned above; or they can be intentional, for example, smart players will actively create a "game control mastermind group" to achieve the goal of controlling gaming time.

The "Mastermind Principle," first conceived by world-class tycoon, steel magnate, and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie, and summarized and popularized by his student, personal achievement philosophy master Napoleon Hill, states: When two or more people cooperate sincerely to achieve a common goal, the effect will be far greater than one person fighting alone. Success will not come without cooperation with others.

Everyone is inherently part of some "mastermind groups," such as family, school, class, company, etc. Each "mastermind group" exists for its specific meaning and purpose, but most players do not realize that they can use these "natural mastermind groups" to help them control their gaming time!

Those players who do not value the external disciplinary effect of "natural mastermind groups," or even evade the external discipline of "natural mastermind groups," are often the ones who play games the most, placing themselves in a dangerous situation.

When a player specifically forms a "game control mastermind group" for themselves, they are actively expanding the strength of external discipline on the basis of enjoying the benefits of "natural mastermind group" external discipline. Members of the "game control mastermind group" can be anyone, as long as they share the same desire: to help the player completely quit games, or to play games for less than four hours a week.

Members of the "game control mastermind group" include the player themselves and people the player trusts (usually including the player's parents); the more members, the better. Members of the mastermind group must maintain "harmony" during collaboration. If there are rifts in the relationship between the player and members of the mastermind group (including parents), and the player cannot trust them, it means they need to leave the mastermind group. Harmony is not about having the same opinions, but "harmony in diversity." Members of the mastermind group also need to remain "active." If it is found that a member of the mastermind group is not active enough, a meeting should be held to remove them from the mastermind group.

The "game control mastermind group" is created by the player, and its dominant figure is the player themselves. The player's desire to control gaming time must be sincere, otherwise the "game control mastermind group" will become a product of formalism and lose its reason for existence.

Multiple "game control mastermind groups" can be established, as some people are not suitable to be added to the same "mastermind group." A player can establish a "game control mastermind group" with everyone they have relatively close contact with. When establishing a "mastermind group," first state the purpose of its existence—to help the player control gaming time; then state what members of the "mastermind group" need to do—monitor the player's gaming time.

Once the player starts playing games, notify all members in all "game control mastermind groups" and promise to end the game by a certain time; when finishing the game, notify all members again. Report gaming situations to the "mastermind group" where parents are present at least daily, even if no games were played; report the week's gaming situation to all "game control mastermind groups" at least weekly.

There are many things mastermind group members can do for the player, and monitoring the player's game time is a very important part. When the player cannot stop playing games, mastermind group members need to intervene, help them interrupt, temporarily step out of the game, and regain their composure. The player must play games according to the plan formulated by the mastermind group and must not deviate from the plan.

The process of quitting games will be long, requiring parents and players to grow synchronously. As core members of the mastermind group, the parents' level will directly affect the outcome of the player's control over gaming time. Only continuous learning and growth can effectively help the child.

Below, I will provide three specific operational plans as "plans." "Self-discipline" and "external discipline" can only exert their maximum effectiveness when combined with "plans." When implementing any plan, parents need to be deeply involved throughout the entire process. Otherwise, the role of the mastermind group will not be fully utilized.

IV. The Best Solution: Make a Decision—Never Play Any Video Games Again

The best solution to quit gaming is surprisingly simple, so simple that it only requires making one decision—never play any video games again. But only those who truly understand can do it; those who don't understand repeatedly try to quit, and end up playing even more intensely.

Completely quitting games has a milestone moment: the moment the decision is made. Before that moment, the player is a player; after that moment, the player instantly becomes a non-player. If you haven't thought it through clearly, don't try to quit games; just control your gaming time well. If you decide to quit, it's for a lifetime.

Why is it that once a player truly "understands," they can quit games by making a single decision? What is the principle?

Because after making the decision to completely stop playing, the player gives themselves no room for choice, and thus no longer needs to struggle, which, paradoxically, makes it easier. All those methods of controlling gaming time, self-discipline, external discipline, are now all unnecessary because the player is no longer playing games and doesn't need to "effortfully" control gaming time. The "decision" itself is very powerful. Zhang Jian quit games completely in one go after making this decision.

Does making this decision require a lot of courage? After all, there are so many fun games, are you really never going to play them again? Won't there be regrets? The truth is, during the period when I decided to completely quit games, I was already playing very little. Therefore, even if I decided to stop playing completely, it didn't require much courage.

After making an assessment table of the pros and cons of gaming and scoring them, I felt that playing video games, no matter how long, is a waste of time! There are still so many ideals unrealized, life is so short, and there are so many interesting things to do. Besides, I genuinely enjoy a life without games! As for games, I know that once I start playing, it's still very difficult for me to stop, so I just don't play at all!

If you always lose control when playing games, why play them? That's not playing games, that's being played by games! If you can't even beat a game, what can you expect yourself to do? So I decided not to play anymore. Not playing means always winning! This reminds me of a maxim popular among gamblers: Not gambling is winning! As long as you participate in gambling, even if you win money every day, you are still losing.

To make the decision to "never play video games again," there are two prerequisites:

• First, the player has fully recognized the harm of games;
• Second, the player must have clear, positive life and learning goals, and the desire to achieve these goals must outweigh the desire for games.

Initially, most players do not have a deep understanding of these two prerequisites and cannot completely give up games, so they will almost never decide to quit. Although the best solution, "never play games again," is good, most players cannot achieve it yet and still need to learn methods to quit games, so they can only lower their expectations. At this point, what players care about most is—how to minimize the harm of playing games?

Please see the next best solution—don't play for a month first, then play for less than four hours a week.

Compared to the "best solution—never play games again," "controlling gaming time" is the "next best solution." In the process of implementing the "next best solution," players continuously strengthen their understanding of the two prerequisites through "reading more, earning more, and dating." One day, the player will achieve enlightenment and make the decision to never play any video games again!

V. Next Best Solution: Abstain from Games for One Month, Then Play Less Than Four Hours a Week

This plan is the optimal solution for "controlling game time."

Theoretical Basis

The areas in the human brain that experience pleasure and pain are the same. Playing games leads to an excessive production of dopamine in the brain. To cope with this, the brain reduces the number of dopamine receptors, causing players to need to play more games to achieve the desired pleasure. If they don't play games, they are more likely to feel pain than ordinary people!

Due to a reduced number of "dopamine receptors," players find it difficult to experience sufficient pleasure from the naturally produced dopamine in daily life! This is "dopamine receptor deficiency syndrome." This indicates that when controlling game time, players need to combat not only psychological factors but also physiological ones.

After abstaining from games for one month, players only need to combat psychological factors, as their dopamine receptor count will have returned to normal by then. Additionally, after a month, players can experience life without games—it will surely be wonderful and help them think more clearly about playing games.

Operational Steps

Each month, the player fills out the "Pros and Cons Analysis Table for Playing Games" (see the chapter "Pros and Cons Analysis Table for Playing Games" in the later chapter, not in this chapter), and then makes decision (1): whether to quit games completely.

If they choose to "quit games completely," they will be free from the troubles of video games for life!

If they choose "not to quit games," please make the next decision (2): whether to abstain from games next month as well.

If they decide "to abstain from games next month as well," then after one month, repeat the two steps above.

If they decide "to play games next month," then they must enter "safe gaming mode"—playing a maximum of four hours of games per week, at fixed times, and in no more than two sessions. It is called "safe mode" because the amount of gaming is small, so physiologically, "dopamine receptor deficiency syndrome" symptoms will not appear, there will be no withdrawal reactions, and control over games will be strong. That is to say, players can remain stable in "safe gaming mode" playing less than four hours a week or not playing games at all in the long term.

Players must first experience "safe gaming mode" for one month. After completion, the player can make decision (3): how many hours of games to play per week next month. If satisfied with "safe gaming mode," it is strongly recommended to maintain "safe gaming mode" long-term, for life (or quit altogether).

If they decide to increase gaming time next month and no longer continue "safe gaming mode," they will automatically enter the "play games according to plan" solution.

Precautions

To maintain playing less than four hours a week, it is necessary to create a weekly gaming plan and only play games during fixed time slots.

Players must immediately notify mastermind group members "before playing games" and "after finishing games."

Keep the computer locked up at other times. If the child is already working and needs a computer for work, two computers can be purchased: one specifically for work, and one specifically for games and entertainment.

Also, do not arrange to play games with strangers, and try to avoid establishing new interpersonal connections in games, because people sometimes do things they are unwilling to do due to personal relationships. When the game time is up, but they are cooperating with someone in a game, they may feel embarrassed to quit first, leading to playing overtime. If the player feels that playing games alone is too boring, parents can play games with the child, mainly to cultivate a close parent-child relationship, without getting too invested.

Each month, players need to refill the "Pros and Cons Analysis Table for Playing Games" to plan and make decisions for the next month. Re-evaluate every month, and players can increase their game time, so there is no pressure. Parents need to let their children understand your requirements for their game time, and ultimately, reach a decision that accommodates both parties.

If the "next best solution" is currently unacceptable to the player, parents can help the child adopt the "play games according to plan" solution. The "next best solution" itself is the most ideal state of the "play games according to plan" solution. Therefore, for families implementing the "next best solution," parents must also read "play games according to plan" and act according to its guidance.

VI. Play Games According to Plan

There is only one difference between the "play games according to plan" solution and the "next best solution"—it skips two months, namely the month of "not playing games" and the month of "playing less than four hours a week."

Identifying Problems

Problem One: Playing Games on Impulse

Let's first look at how a player starts a game.

The player completes some study or work tasks, gets some rest time, and feels the need to relax.

They think about what can relax them the most. First, they rule out relaxation methods with high acquisition costs, such as dating. Then, they rule out entertainment activities with low excitement levels, such as reading news. Finally, short videos and games become the top choices.

However, the thrill of watching short videos is passively received, not as exciting as the thrill of a short video going viral, because proactive behavior can create a sense of superiority and be more exciting. Games happen to provide players with this, surpassing the experience of watching short videos.

After repeating this many times, the above decision-making process will speed up, to the point where the player directly chooses to play games.

In a day, there are more than twenty opportunities to relax. If a child has a mobile phone or computer nearby, they will start playing games more than twenty times, which is a big problem! Players will constantly think about games, and eventually, they will be unable to do anything else well except play games.

"Impulsive gaming" must be constrained by a "plan"!

Problem Two: Unable to Stop Once Started Playing

In fact, all game players have made "game playing plans" before, but they are almost always ineffective, and they still often play overtime, with "plans often failing to keep up with changes." The reason is: games are too fun, and when excited, rationality can hardly overcome sensibility, leading to an inability to stop once started.

What to do if a player can't stop playing games?

Parents help them stop! Interrupt the game they are playing!

Let them know that strictly "playing games according to plan" is more beneficial than harmful to them.

To make rationality truly play a decisive role, players need to see through games, which requires considerable effort and learning. Enhancing rational decision-making ability will be detailed in the next section. This section focuses on providing the conventional means of controlling game time—playing games according to plan.

Operational Steps

"Playing games according to plan" means making a plan for the next month at the end of each month, deciding the weekly gaming hours for the next month. The specific process is as follows:

Each month, the player fills out the "Pros and Cons Analysis Table for Playing Games" (see the chapter "Pros and Cons Analysis Table for Playing Games" below), and then makes decision (1): whether to quit games completely.

If they choose to "quit games completely," they will be free from the troubles of video games for life!

If they choose "not to quit games," please make the next decision (2): whether to abstain from games next month as well.

If they decide "to abstain from games next month as well," then after one month, repeat the two steps above.

If they decide "to play games next month," please make the next decision (3): whether to adopt the "next best solution," i.e., abstain from games for one month first, then enter "safe gaming mode"—playing a maximum of four hours of games per week (see previous section for details).

If they decide to adopt the "next best solution," refer to the operations in the previous section.

If they decide not to adopt the "next best solution," please make the next decision (4): how many hours of games to play per week next month.

Each month, one can freely choose to play fewer games; however, if choosing to increase game time, it can only be increased to the next level of the current month's gaming volume. There are a total of 16 levels:

• 1) Quit completely: Absolutely healthy
• 2) Don't play for the current month: Healthy for the current month
• 3) Play within 4 hours a week: Safe sub-healthy
• 4) Play within 7 hours a week: Dangerous sub-healthy
• 5) Play within 14 hours a week: Mild disorder (average 1.x hours/day)
• 6) Play within 21 hours a week: Moderate disorder (average 2.x hours/day)
• 7) Play within 28 hours a week: Severe disorder A (average 3.x hours/day)
• 8) Play within 35 hours a week: Severe disorder B (average 4.x hours/day)
• 9) Play within 42 hours a week: Hospitalization-level disorder A (average 5.x hours/day)
• 10) Play within 49 hours a week: Hospitalization-level disorder B (average 6.x hours/day)
• 11) Play within 56 hours a week: ICU-level disorder A (average 7.x hours/day)
• 12) Play within 63 hours a week: ICU-level disorder B (average 8.x hours/day)
• 13) Play within 70 hours a week: ICU-level disorder C (average 9.x hours/day)
• 14) Play within 77 hours a week: Speechless-level disorder A (average 10.x hours/day)
• 15) Play within 84 hours a week: Speechless-level disorder B (average 11.x hours/day)
• 16) Play over 84 hours a week: Speechless-level disorder C (average 12+ hours/day)

Then, allocate the planned weekly hours to weekdays and holidays. On weekdays, due to work or school, play less, or preferably not at all, concentrating play on weekends to prevent precious attention from being diverted on weekdays.

Precautions

The specific "time slots" for playing games each week must be "fixed" to avoid any impulsive gaming! (Example: Only play games between 8:30 and 10:30 on Saturdays and Sundays, not at other times.) Form routines and habits, using habits to achieve self-discipline. This also makes it convenient for "mastermind group" members to monitor. If a planned gaming slot is missed, game time can only be made up with the consent of "mastermind group" members.

Avoid playing overtime every day, so that weekly and monthly limits are not exceeded. "Playing games according to plan" allows for playing less or not at all, but does not allow playing overtime.

Players need to discuss and create a gaming schedule with mastermind group members, only playing games during the stipulated time slots, and keeping the computer (or mobile phone) locked at other times.

Players must report to mastermind group members "before playing games" and "after finishing games," and mastermind group members should also actively monitor the player's gaming time.

Undoubtedly, relying solely on the player to implement "playing games according to plan" will fail. Because once they start playing, dopamine surges, and it is very difficult to stop on their own. When a player cannot stop playing, "mastermind group members" should kindly remind them and help them stop the game.

"Playing games according to plan," after all, is not the best or next best solution, and the possibility of failure is much greater than the former two. Even so, it is still an excellent solution. If, after implementation, the effect is not ideal, it is necessary to reflect on whether every step has been strictly followed. If it really doesn't work, implement the "best" or "next best solution," and things will become simpler.

How to Plan Game Time

You might ask, if the player secretly plays games and doesn't report to the mastermind group, wouldn't the "play games according to plan" be ruined?

Actually, when we make a gaming plan, we require parents not to force children to play too little, but it's not entirely based on what the child says. Game time is a consensus reached through mutual compromise between parents and children, and it is only valid for the next month.

Players have no reason to refuse the "play games according to plan" solution because, from the beginning, this plan does not excessively reduce the player's game time. It can even be said that if the mastermind group members and the player reach an agreement, the game time for the next month can be increased (up to one level).

So, the game time is sufficient for the player, and at the same time, the player can balance life and study. This balance of study, life, and games brings positive changes to the player, and the player will be joyful, so they don't want to play more games at all.

Effects and Reasons for Effectiveness

"Playing games according to plan" truly gives players a sense of control over games. Previously, when players played overtime, they would blame themselves, but to no avail, and might even think, "Since I've already played overtime, I might as well continue playing until I'm dizzy." Now, because they need to report the start and end times of gaming, players have an added sense of responsibility to their families.

Ultimately, by not playing overtime each time, players feel they are truly mastering the game, not being controlled by it. Originally, children themselves don't feel the need to play for that long; they only play too much because they can't stop. So, with "playing games according to plan," players will naturally reduce their game time.

Based on Zhang Jian's experience, if he had been able to implement "playing games according to plan" as described in this section during his university years, he could have reduced his gaming time by 50% from the start, because two hours of gaming a day is sufficient for a university student, whereas he was averaging four hours a day, which was completely excessive. Did he want to play four hours a day? Not at all! He simply couldn't stop back then.

Parents also don't need to worry about their children playing games anymore, because playing games is not a sin now; it's a plan for the family. At the end of each day, if parents find that their child has controlled their gaming time well, please don't be stingy with your approval for your child; sincerely express your inner joy!

Parents might worry, what if, under "playing games according to plan," the child requests longer and longer gaming times? This requires relying on "reading more, earning more, and dating" to update the child's thoughts and shift their goals.

VII. Read More, Earn More, Date More

The purpose of players doing these three things—"read more, earn more, date more"—is to pull people back from a frustrating real life and ultimately stop them from lingering on online games. Loners play more.

Game time scattered throughout the day is not as good as concentrating it to play to one's heart's content. If attention is dispersed, even thinking about games counts, and the duration should be doubled. Short gaming sessions often leave one feeling unfulfilled; this way, one can be fully satisfied. Game days can be set, for example, a certain day on the weekend, playing for 8 or 4 hours. Compare this to playing a little over an hour a day.

Enjoy life to the fullest at other times. Play to your heart's content, and live life beautifully. Don't mix games and life, or you'll end up doing neither well.

Read More

To help a child quit games, the key is to change the child's perception of playing games—from loving games to hating them. How to change this perception? The most cost-effective way is, of course, to buy and read extracurricular books. Reading is the process of establishing a "mastermind group" with the author of the book.

Choosing to read the most classic good books, non-fiction books written by the most famous authors, is the fastest way to enhance a child's potential. "Standing on the shoulders of giants" made Isaac Newton a great scientist; if not for reading, Newton might have just been a farmer.

What a child does during non-gaming time is crucial to influencing their gaming time! Children have academic responsibilities, and doing well in their studies is important. However, most children have not yet found the joy of learning textbooks for various reasons, and how to help children find the joy of learning textbooks is key.

School education models are relatively uniform, but the gap between top students and underachievers in the same school is significant, mainly due to differences in family education. I advocate for quality-oriented education, oppose exam-oriented education, and oppose cultivating children into high-scoring, low-ability, one-dimensional youths. In the long run, the results of quality-oriented education will be far more fruitful than exam-oriented education.

Schools teach knowledge. Liberal arts often require memorization, and few people enjoy memorizing things. So how can we guide children to discover an interest in liberal arts? Science mainly relies on understanding; how can we inspire children to love science? For example, if a fourth-grader reads three hundred books a year, do you think this child will be poor in liberal arts? If their dream is to become a mathematician, will they be poor in science? Will their gaming time be long?

When children spend a lot of time reading various extracurricular books, they can discover their direction for effort:

• First, they cannot play games while reading (exclusivity of time);
• Second, while reading, they are broadening their horizons, and the narrow world of games gradually cannot contain them. They want to explore the entire universe!

Thoughts determine actions. If a child has no goals in life and doesn't know the meaning of life, it's normal for them to play games.

Only through extensive reading of good books can a child's thoughts be quickly updated and enriched, and their doubts resolved. Eventually, they will no longer be confused and will find their direction for effort—naturally, games will become an obstacle to achieving their goals and must be removed!

Earn More

Children should receive financial literacy education before adulthood to cultivate correct attitudes towards work and earning money. Earning money is actually being rewarded for helping others solve problems through effort.

Earning money can establish connections with others and reduce connections with the virtual world. When earning money, players cannot play games (exclusivity of time).

Earning money requires doing things. If things are done well, customers are happy; if things are not done well, customers are dissatisfied. To satisfy customers, one must work hard. Therefore, earning money can build a sense of responsibility towards others and society. Children's willful gaming is also due to a lack of responsibility.

Date More

The pleasure and excitement of dating are stronger, real joys that children cannot experience from games. When with a lover, the heartbeat accelerates, and the mood is joyful and excited. Feeling loved by others allows one to feel one's own value.

After falling in love, children may not even have time to play games because their lover needs companionship, and playing games will be interpreted by the lover as refusing companionship. Love is a two-person affair; in the process of handling relationships with a lover, children will mature quickly.

VIII. Summary—Harm Yi Zhi Jie Yi Ji Du (Mnemonic)

To help parents remember the above content, I have summarized it into a mnemonic: "Hai Yi Zhi Jie Yi Ji, Du Shu Zhuan Qian Lian Ai." ((Harm, Willpower), Mastermind, (Quit, One, Plan), (Read, Earn, Date))

• "Hai" (Harm) refers to realizing the "harm" of games, working on one's thoughts. (Self-discipline)
• "Yi" (Willpower) is a homophone for "意" (meaning), referring to the fact that relying solely on "willpower" to control game time is prone to failure. (Self-discipline)
• "Zhi" (Mastermind) is a homophone for "智" (wisdom), referring to controlling game time with the help of a "mastermind group" for external discipline. (External discipline)
• "Jie" (Quit) refers to "making a decision to 'quit' games forever" as the best method. (Plan)
• "Yi" (One) refers to first abstaining from games for "one" month, then entering a safe gaming mode of playing less than four hours a week. (Plan)
• "Ji" (Plan - quarter) is a homophone for "计" (plan), referring to playing games according to a "plan". (Plan)
• "Du" (Read) is a homophone for "读" (read); "Read More, Earn More, Date More" refers to reading more, earning more, and dating more. (Self-discipline and External discipline)

This seven-character mnemonic—"Hai Yi Zhi Jie Yi Ji Du" ((Harm, Willpower), Mastermind, (Quit, One, Plan), (Read, Earn, Date), belongs to three aspects: "Self-discipline," "External discipline," and "Plan." It can effectively guide the work of quitting games, and it is hoped that parents can memorize it.

Finally, the child develops a habit of reading, becomes a knowledgeable person, and shifts their life focus to studying and earning money, willingly taking responsibility for everything, and looking forward to a beautiful love life. At this point, the child finds that games are insignificant and strongly dislikes their own gaming behavior, considering it a waste of time. Thus, the child plays games less and less. In the end, with fear and hatred for games, the child decides to "never play any video games again"!

Parents will find that helping their children quit games using this method will naturally lead to success. After succeeding in the fight against games, parents still cannot let their guard down. Because the child has just gotten on the right track, has not read enough books, and still has a considerable proportion of misconceptions in their mind; moreover, there are many temptations in the future, and we need to help the child consolidate the victory.

Later, I will detail the seven actions mentioned above, "Hai Yi Zhi Jie Yi Ji Du." (Harm, Willpower, Mastermind, (Quit, One, Plan), (Read, Earn, Date)) Among these seven actions, the core actions are "Mastermind Group" and "Reading," i.e., "Zhi Du" (Wisdom Reading). "Mastermind Group" leads to "External discipline," and "Reading" leads to "Self-discipline." "Self-discipline," "External discipline," and "Plan"—with these three working together, quitting games is a sure thing!

This chapter ends here. In the next chapter, I will talk to you about "Gaming Disorder."